Talk about pouring when it rains. I was practically crying myself to sleep last night that I had to ask hubby to pray for me because everything got to me that I could have contaminated my son with my sickness. I just could not stop crying. You see, I picked up my x-ray result yesterday and I did not need a medical practitioner to tell me it was not pretty.

Today, I got so weak that I could not remain in school to attend my afternoon review class anymore. And now I am blogging from my bed via my mobile again because I am still feverish.

I am scheduled to go back to the doctor for my follow up check up tomorrow. I have been a regular to the hospital and I average at least once a year confinement for the past three years, but never did I cry over myself or whatever that was that made me sick. But this time around, with the health of my son in danger, makes me just cry uncontrollably. Baseless as it may seem, but not entirely. Blame it on my shooting temperature, I have never been sadder.

My son seems healthy and fit, no fever, unlike me. But I will still have him tested. May the Lord just cover his body with his hand of protection and spare him. I pray that he remains healthy. I really do not care if I will still be able to pursue taking the board. That is just not my concern anymore.

Allow me to be human and feel all these, even as I still choose to believe and know in my heart that God is able to do exceedingly, more than I could ever ask of Him. He is the only one who knows our physiological make up best and most especially our hearts. I just pray that I do not remain numb with fear that I cease to hear what He wants to tell me. By His grace, I will get there.


Shelia said...

I don't have to say much, because I know, that your faith will keep you and your some whole.

And you're right, when it comes to yours and your son's health, everything else is secondary.

I think it's time to break out your favorite comedy and laugh just because. You'll probably laugh till you cry, but at least you'll be laughing.