Don't Be Afraid to Say NO

Be careful of manipulative questions from teens. They may not even realize what they're doing but teens often ask questions or make statements to try to convince you to bend the rules.

One of the questions is, "What's wrong with it?" We all have a grid in our mind that allows us to make decisions about what we allow. When our children get a little older then they challenge the grid by asking questions like, "What's wrong with it?"

A young person may come to Dad and ask to go hang out at the mall, or at a friend's house after school, or attend a party on Friday night. What's wrong with those things? Maybe nothing, but the wise parent knows that in those situations bad things often begin. Unfortunately, the teenager may not be able to see it. The restriction just doesn't seem reasonable.

It takes a pretty committed and insightful parent to address that kind of issue and many fail. "Well, I guess you could go to that party, and hang out after school at your boy friend’s house" and…pretty soon things happen that change the course of the child's life.

"What's wrong with it?" is a question that misses the point. It's like creating a soup. We're not just throwing things into a bowl. We are hand picking the ingredients to make this soup nutritious, not just looking for all the possible non-dangerous things to add.

The same thing is true with your children. Don't allow them to convince you to make changes you know aren't in their best interest. Sometimes as a parent you have to take the difficult road of saying 'no' because you know what danger a 'yes' might allow.